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Mariposa Lily

Mariposa Lily
Showing posts with label short story. Show all posts
Showing posts with label short story. Show all posts

March 23, 2013

Broken Chains


[A testament to the work of God as visible and breaking through walls in me throughout the past week]

I said, "My Lord, why won't you break through my chains and free me from them?"

And He said to me, "Fix your eyes on me, not your sins and shortcomings and failures."

And I saw God was so much greater than my chains and I was ashamed to call His power insufficient.

I said, "You said You have broken my chains, and I see that parts are in pieces, but I can't seem to let go of them—they weigh down my feet as I shuffle along, and my back is bent under the load."

He said, "My child, you are free."

I replied, "I know, but I can't seem to feel this freedom!" And suddenly I saw that the chains were not bound to me but I was grabbing them from the ground and laying them over myself till I groaned from the weight.

November 23, 2011

The Acrobat and the Abyss


  I was on a journey, and had walked for many miles when my travels came to an abrupt halt as I reached the edge of an abyss.  As you can imagine, I found this not a little disappointing, and stood there for a long while wondering how to get across.
To my astonishment, however, I noticed a tightrope stretching out from the cliff edge and, slowly, a man pushing a wheelbarrow across the rope toward me.  In the wheelbarrow sat another performer.  By and by they reached land: the performer jumped out of the wheelbarrow and went on his way.
I stood at the edge of the chasm, and the acrobat smiled at my amazement.  “Don’t you think I can do it again?” he asked.
“Certainly,” I replied with sincere gravity and awe.  “Of course I believe you can.”
The acrobat repeated the question, and when the answer was the same, he pointed to the wheelbarrow and said, “Good!  Get in, then, and I will take you across.”
To be sure, I felt a brief pang of trepidation, but this I took as a child, with the surging thrill of adventure.  “Truly?” I cried, apprehensive and overjoyed.
“Indeed,” he said, smiling to see my eagerness.
Hereupon I leapt into the wheelbarrow and settled myself for the journey.

Time passed and the acrobat pushed me over the tightrope for what seemed endless miles, never varying in speed, never becoming weak or fatigued.  For all this, however, we surely had more than three-quarters of our journey yet to travel.  Infinitely the rope stretched before us—I could see no end near or otherwise.  I twisted my head around to peer behind, and saw that the opposite cliff from whence we’d come had disappeared, too, and there would be no returning.  Below, the dark of the abyss; above, the clouds congregated as for a rainstorm.
Where I had previously felt such peace, the chill of fear crept into my heart.  How terribly alone we seemed.  How awfully long and hard this journey was!  What if I was too heavy and the acrobat grew tired?  After all, he had only finished pushing someone else when I came along.  I felt as though I ought to help, but I had no skill or experience and the chasm fell so dreadfully far below.
Who was this acrobat anyway?  To be sure, it felt as though I had known him forever.  Certainly he kept on most prodigiously.  But no one had told me how vast the tightrope was, how uncomfortable the wheelbarrow’s wood became, nor how the rain and wind could sting.  And there were so many things about the acrobat I did not know.
Despite my deep breaths and rationalizations, I began to tremble, and my fingers gripped the wheelbarrow with all the strength that was in them.
Fog enveloped us.  I was cold, wet, and afraid.  I thought we were still moving, though it was hard to tell, and panic rose in me when I realized the fog obscured my acrobat completely from my sight and all but muffled his quiet voice entirely.  And, shivering, I began to weep.
Could he hear my cries?  Surely if he heard he would he not comfort me?  Or would he be irritated at my lack of confidence and berate me—if not in word, then at least in thought, saying to himself, “What an ungrateful wretch this girl is, when I have promised to bring her across the abyss and am giving myself entirely for her.”
I wanted to be strong and bear the cold and wind and rain with patience.  I wanted to be a child, weak but secure in my daddy’s lap, comforted and loved.  But I was neither of these, and I was helpless and confused.
Every once in a great while I thought I heard whispers that sounded like, “I love you,” or “I am still here.”  But I could never be sure, and was afraid it might be my imagination.
And I sat, huddled and miserable in the bottom of the wheelbarrow.  The acrobat, I think, kept pushing, for we never once wavered on the thin line.  And so we kept on.


(A personalized retelling of the story by Morton Kelsey)

November 7, 2010

The Girl in the Glass

Yesterday as I was walking from one place to another, I came across a wall of glass, and on the other side stood a girl like me. She stood close to the wall until I approached; then guards went over her wistful eyes and she took a step back.

The room in which she stood looked very small to me, and I asked through the wall if she wanted out. I saw her desperate longing then, just for a second, as she nodded jerkily and said she would.

“Well,” I said, “Perhaps there is a door.” The room behind her was messy and by the patchy redness on her face, she looked as though she had been crying.

She nodded dully and pointed to my left. I walked the length of the glass and indeed, a crack ran smoothly down, and there were hinges on the parallel edge. But the latch seemed to be on the inside, and I was strangely hesitant to put out my hand and find out.

So I ran back to the girl, but she had retreated to a corner where she sat curled up tightly with her knees to her chest, forehead bowed against them so her face was hidden, and I was impatient with her oddness.

“There’s a door!” I shouted, knocking on the glass to get her attention and gesturing toward it. “Come out and be free! The sun is shining out here; the day is warm and full of life. You can get out of there!”

She looked up at me and shook her lazy head in dejection.

“Why not? I thought you wanted out.”

Slowly she stood and faced me, head hanging. She shook it again and said simply, “I can’t.”

She couldn’t go out like that, she said—not the way she was. And I saw for the first time that her clothes were filthy, even torn in places, and disgusting to behold.

“Put on something else,” I said, trying not to show her how I inwardly recoiled at the sight.

And again she said, “I can’t.” She had no other clothes—if one could truly call such wretched tatters garments at all.

“Well…you cannot get new clothes without venturing out,” I ventured half-heartedly.

But there was too much fear. Backwards she stepped, away from the glass, and I thought I heard her repeat, “I can’t, not this way.”

I knew with a twinge of pity that if I were as she, I would not want others to know of my stench, either, and have them twist their faces and pinch their raised noses when they passed by.

The girl retreated into her dark corner and I turned and walked away. And so yesterday came and went.





Today I passed my reflection in a mirror, a car window, a glass storefront. And I thought for a second I saw a wretched, putrid girl, face blotchy and ugly from crying and shame.

And I walked faster.

 
 
 
 
(Lord, have mercy!)